Don't judge me...

The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies by Nine Naughty Novelists

Come on, the ebook was 99¢ on Barnes & Noble and Amanzon. How can you resist a book with this title at that price? Even if it’s horrible, it’s worth a look, right? That’s what I told myself when Mina Khan tweeted about this title a few days ago. That’s how I justified buying it. And reading it. Seriously…how could I NOT read this book.

It’s written by, as you may have guessed, multiple authors. The authors have each written at least one chapter and built their part of the story on what has come before. It’s doesn’t read like a collaboration, really, but more of a game. As if a writer’s retreat got a little out of hand one night and they semi-drunkenly passed a notebook around in a circle trying to come up with the most outrageous, most stereotypically hysterical plot and dialogue they could possibly dream up. Then, before they could sober up and try to edit it or think better of it, they self published the finished genre parody. If you read it this way, you’ll enjoy it. If you try to read it as a straight paranormal romance, you’ll absolutely hate it.

Zillionaire vampire cowboy Rock Fangworthy, owner of the Double Fang ranch, has just about everything he ever wanted. Of course, he can’t stand the sight or smell of blood (hell, even the mention of the “b” word makes him light headed), and then there’s that damned winery taking up prime real estate where his cattle should be grazing…but he does have Chastity Feelsgood warming his bed, his custom made lizard skin boots, and his horse, Monk, to ride the range with. If only he could get his hands on that winery property.

Werewolf Buffi Van Pelt has just inherited the Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck, Texas from her grandmother. Buffi never intended to come back to Bloodsuck. Ever since Rock broke her heart five…or was it three…years ago, leaving her alone and pregnant with her twin pups, she’s worked hard to put her life back together. But needs must, and Buffi needs a job and a place to live. The winery will give her both, if she can just avoid Rock.

All of the typical romance genre plot devices and themes are in this novel, but they are so exaggerated and taken to the extremes of silliness that there is no way to read this novella with a straight face. Do not try to critique it seriously, just enjoy it for what it is.